Ammaji

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Absolute happiness !

I was born and brought up in a small town of Uttar Pradesh. Though we were brought up in a comfortable set up but I did notice lots of unfortunate and less privileged people and specially children around us, the inequalities in the society always disturbed me. I always wanted to work for the betterment of the less fortunate of our society but how and when I had no clue..
It’s been 14 years since the capital city has given me so much that now it’s the time to return something back to the society.

As a trained logistics professional I wanted job satisfaction from my work which I was not getting and that compelled me to change my work place.

So in continuation to the same, when there was not much work in my consultancy firm, last year I decided to give my career a new dimension. Last year I joined an NGO as a fellow. My work as a volunteer with another NGO helped me as a fellow. We are trained to organise a community instead of doing only charity. I also got this golden opportunity to meet and be with street children who beg at tourist places for their living. Meeting them has changed the whole perspective of mine regarding happiness.

rainbasera

My work now gives me satisfaction. I feel satisfied when I interact with  under privileged children and youth who are happy and in high life condition oblivious to difficult and life threatening conditions they live in. It was truly amazing to meet children of #jamghatcommunity who are beggars near tourist places of Delhi. One such place is Jama masjid where we went to meet street children for few hours. They met us as if they know us for long.

jamghat 1

They were all over that small room calling as didi, didi. It was their lunch hour by the time we reached that congested building in the bylanes of old delhi. They were made to sit in a circle to have their food. All of them picked their plates and spoon from the small table on which they were kept. They were given food one time a day and that was enough for them. Comparison was obvious with our 5 course meal on daily basis.  It was heartwarming to see them eating food. I instantly compared them with my kids whom I feed while running after them. 🙂 After the food they were taught english subject for about an hour. But the best part was their visible joy and happiness in those difficult living conditions. After lunch they took us to see us their families who were staying in camps or on road sides.

Then we went to see Jama masjid with them. Few of the children surprisingly begged then only and bought Parle G biscuits for us. It was so touching. We had so many things in our life and had nothing to offer them and they had nothing in their lives and so much to offer us. 

jamghat 2

After this visit there was a kind of vicissitude inside me which can’t be described in words. Those benign gestures are unforgettable. It was indeed a life changing experience for me. #lifechangingday

Whenever I read and watch atrocities happening all over the world, weaker section being repressed, minorities manhandled, violence and gender inequality it gives me goosebumps but then I read the fourth silent prayer “peace and happiness to all humanity” after the Prayers, it gives me tranquility of mind thinking that this is the best thing I can do for unhappy people miles away from here.

The difference between rich and poor has always struck my senses, I wanted to bridge the gap between the two, bridging will not be the right word. I guess I want to shorten the distance between privileged and underprivileged ones.

Our society from time immortal is in need of such reforms. #society

Knowledge is great – Psychology

 

Education, for me had always been a legacy to carry forward or you can say, it’s been a part of daily existence like breathing, eating, playing, or loving.  As my parents were from academic background, both my brother and me had lots of pressure for studying hard and getting best grades. We never had a thought or say what should we study or what should be the next course we opt. So when this question was thrown to me I was very happy to catch it.

If you could study/specialise in any subject of your choice in the UK, what would it be, where and why?

Being from a small town of Uttar Pradesh, India, I always had a dearth of career opportunities to go for. Though there were universities, colleges having known and famous scholars as professors, but somehow that was ‘Run of the mill’ kind of thing. And being one of the sheep was highly unacceptable for me.  

I did my post graduation in Botany and shifted my base to capital of the country. I always thought that Delhi has hell lot of opportunities in terms of career and jobs. And its true also to some extent. But somehow as I may be a most restless of soul, I was never satisfied with the way my career was shaping. Anyways after sometime I realised that it’s the psychology, which I always wanted to study. And when this question I read on the contest my first instant reply was

PSYCHOLOGY.

Yes I would love to study and also specialise in Psychology subject in UK. But why in UK? UK has emerged to be most cosmopolitan place across the globe or may be we have some past heart to heart connection with England, since the time Britain ruled India for years. What drive me to the subject is its human touch and the kind of interaction or communication done on one to one basis.

It’s incredible to study one’s mind and behaviour. And at the same time its fun and highly adventurous. Psychology has the immediate goal of understanding individuals and groups by both establishing general principles and researching specific cases, and by many accounts it ultimately aims to benefit society.

It also makes me wonder which kind of people are living in different parts of the country. The thought always amused me that how come I am in India and someone of my age, gender and thought process living in some other part of the world. God has sent us to different areas pertaining to different countries. This will help me explore the other person’s perceptioncognitionattentionemotionphenomenologymotivationbrain functioningpersonality, behaviour, and interpersonal relationships. Now that sounds hell lot of an interesting idea.  It will be great to know the people living in UK, their behaviour patters or their interpretations.

Of course Psychologically knowing the people of UK will be an amazing study. Moreover this subject will lead me to another subject close to my heart – Social sciences. Will write next about this very soon. 

Till then keep reading – MINDS

 

Stay !

Can’t fight with destiny

If something to happen
It will happen
You can only prepare yourself
To face the adversity
If no one listens
Don’t scream out your lungs
Anyways no one is listening
If no one understands
Don’t expect from them next time
If no one cares
Don’t let others sideline you
At least ,
Sun will set, and again sun will rise
Moving needles of clock are eternal
Yes only time is timeless
Sit and think
Stop and smile
Give and forgive
Relax and strive
The beauty lies in being slow
The beauty is enhanced when you stop from outside
But never ever stop your heart
Let it fly
Let it soar high in the sky.
Let it be crazy
Let it be wise
But don’t deny it’s dream
Don’t deny yourself
Accept the fact and
Realise it
It’s all yours !
You are destined for this dream
You are the chooses one !

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Raj – Neeti

28 December is a historical day in the history of Indian politics. Today a common man who travels in metro or auto rickshaw, worked 10am to 6pm, an activist and above a common Indian citizen has become CM of capital of India.

This is indeed commendable and outstanding. He has taken every party by storm of surprise. Indian politics will never be same again

Congress ruled the nation for about so many years, BJP tried to rule the country but could not succeed, and despite all the efforts they tried in the past. Now that their agenda has changed and they are MR Modi as clone of GOD. During 2009 Advanji tried to be the clone but their was no concrete agenda. The issues raised by them were baseless. Now MR Modi is trying to fix up an agenda, which is again becoming baseless gradually as they are diverting from the base topic of growth and development. Now they want to remove Congress party from the country. “Quit India, Congress!”

The slogan itself is baseless and irrelevant.

Anyways people of India must give tome to Mr. Kejriwal’s governance to do something in favor of them and minimize corruption. He is now eyeing to be a national party of India. They can definitely be successful if they don’t deviate from their basic agenda, point that made them join politics. We can only talk about corruption and dirty politics. It needs strong guts to get down in the gutter and clean the dirt. If the people of AAP remains grounded and they don’t change like any other power hungry politician, then only they can be a super hit with masses and classes of India.

16 December – The black day

Today is Friday, The 13 & month is September. The day considered inauspicious all over the world. But today we have seen the history in the making, life will never be the same again after this day. 

16 December 2012 unfortunate Rape incident has stirred the whole world like a dry leaf in the storm. 

Since morning I was on the move to visit my clients for some work. But in the back of my mind, I desperately wanted to sit in front of news channel and be the witness of Jumbo judgement. 

After this incident life for women in Delhi has become more vulnerable and challenging. Women in general had stopped leaving home after 7pm but some brave heart were still moving in the night because of their jobs or some other reasons.It took nine months for Indian judiciary to announce the verdict on the convicts. Though the victim had died and given the dying statement against the criminals, still law took nine whole months to give decision. Why? 

Nothing exceptional has come out of this incident. First eye catcher out of the whole incident was how the people of Delhi came out of their living rooms together and fought, gave their precious time, participated in discussion and gave ‘dharnas‘. Delhi is my city since last 13 years and I am well aware of the indigenous nature of people here. Though I don’t find original Dilliwallah here, because most of them are migrants from nearby states in search of work. Though every individual is completely different from another, somehow once you touch Delhi you become native of the city. Lot has been questioned on ‘Dilliwallah’s‘ show off nature or ‘dil-waale‘ image. But I was pleasantly surprised by the  strong determination and equally robust actions they had shown for someone they did not even knew. It was heart warming to see mango people coming out under scorching sun and protesting against the criminals. So many campaigns were moving on social networking websites. In general Dilliwalah started becoming aware of the consequences and plight of rape victims or acid attack victims. They have become more sensitive to these issues and 

Amidst all this there was a thorn like consideration also that the rape case was viewed largely as a cold blooded and torturous murder. Had the victim not died after the incident, I doubted that criminals would have ever been punished. Unquestionably Rape should be considered the biggest of crime, bigger than a murder. Rape kills dignity, love, hope & soul of the victim, be it male or female. Yes, rape is not Gender biased. 

It is little wonder that rape is one of the least-reported crimes. Perhaps it is the only crime in which the victim becomes the accused and, in reality, it is she who must prove her good reputation, her mental soundness, and her impeccable propriety

Disgusting ! Isn’t it?

Rape is not just pushy lovemaking

But with due respect to our Patriarch society, rape victims are moving scott free in many cases. Why? Because laws are lenient and criminals are NOT at all afraid of law and police. And above all marital rape is not even considered a crime. Well, what to say and expect !

Anyways we are right now basking in the glory of the decision of death sentence to convicts. 
But will the attitude of people against this heinous crime change? 
When will male start looking at a female not as an object but as another human being? 
Is any other solution to this problem? 
Are we going wrong in the upbringing of our male children?

So many questions ! Seeking answers !

Bloom

I know a female who shared this story with me and I expanded it as a thought, a thought to be considered as it is related to future youth. 

My Friend is married with two sons and she also ‘claims’ that her husband is very loving, loyal, efficient, caring, independent & trustworthy. Sometimes I feel funny when she lists so many qualities of her husband.

How can a human being have so many qualities that too when his first name is HUSBAND! 🙂 Anyways here we are not concerned about husband. Idea is to give a thought to youth and future brigade. Let’s give a name to my friend, lets say her Gauri.

Hmm! Seems I like the name.

So, one day Gauri went to a toyshop in a nearby market to buy some gift for her kid’s friend. After looking at many gifts she could barely decide on a stuffed toy for the kid’s friend. The lady sitting on the shop had very small eyes, reminded her instantly of Bollywood actress #Sridevi, portraying hugely big eyes in most of her work.

Somehow we remember someone similar when we look at the person but the case was different with Gauri. She starts visualizing opposite features when ever she meets some one. People with long neck reminds her of Cricket player from England #Gladstone small with a very small neck, virtually invisible. A person with short height reminds her of Bollywood legend #Amitabh bhachan. Opposites attracts, I guess!

Any ways the lady shopkeeper started packing the gift. She hairy, round and fair complexioned face. May be her parlor visit was due. 

The lady started conversation with Gargi.

“Which school does your kid go to?”

“ABC public school.” Gargi replied.

We shall avoid taking school names here. Why to give them free publicity when they deserve nothing of it. 

“Oh, and the younger one?” She said with a glimpse of sadness.

Gargi wondered what’s going on in her mind. She seems to be in talking mood with her customer.

“The same one.” Gargi said.

“Oh Didi, I must tell you, remove your sons from this school. It is good for nothing. This school is useless.” She told Gargi as if sharing the most vulnerable information on the planet.

“My daughters are going to St. XYZ convent school. It is the best school in this locality.” The lady disclosed so proudly that Gargi felt like a snail. 

While holding a nice gift pack in her hand Gargi was feeling like a brain less mother who has sent her kids to worst school of the area. But the truth was not this. 

“Like Diamond, truth has many facets.”

On the very next day she went on to meet her son’s ‘ex tuition teacher’.

 The word ‘Ex’ is very commonly used and misused now. Unfortunately teacher’s community is also untouched by this use. After explaining issues about her health and telling her what kind of religious activities teacher is indulging herself in, discussion centered on kid’s studies. It was a natural move but gave Gargi a brain storming session.

Teacher asked Gargi if her kids are still going to ABC public school? She advised Gargi she should put her kids to St XYZ School or PQR international school or EFG international school. Gargi told me what the teacher said to her, and I found it really strange. Teacher told my friend as her kids are boys, present day schooling will matter most to them once they are grown up. If they have a label of convent school or International school then chances are they will get very good and educated spouses.

Phew! And here comes the ‘awakening’. Teacher told her that when she will go out to find a perfect match for her sons she will be welcomed warmly by her future ‘Bahus’, only if they are in these respected schools. And when they will come to know that they studied in Convent or International school then their families will also give you a hearty greet. 

Oh gosh! I was very much astonished & laughed out on this kind of idea. But it gave me a shudder down my spines when I realized the gravity of this kind of thinking process. 

“We are addicted to our thoughts. We cannot change anything if we cannot change our thinking.”

And I strongly believe ” What I think moves on to next generation, of course with few individual changes here and there.”

Very Firstly the thought of gender biased schooling disturbed me here. Being a female of course I have a soft corner for girls but also I am not a commando with a woman empowerment flag in my hand. I equally love boys. 🙂

Issues being faced by females are more or less similar as faced by boys in our society. Yes I know except some biological processes. One, the teacher is denying the idea of girls studying in convents and International schools. Second she is depicting short sightedness of future would ‘bahus’ and their families. Like as if, at the time of marriage will the girl see if the boy had studied in convent or not. What about his education? Boy might be working in country’s top MNC on the top management position and did his schooling from Public school or Govt school. Oh sad ! He is not eligible then. And what about his honesty, loyalty, disciplined life style and caring nature? Will these Convents and Internationals give the guarantee to imbibe these qualities in ‘boys’? 

Well, it may be this teacher’s lone thought but I am sure If an aged female teacher thinks like this then definitely there must be 100 other people who are thinking like this.

Second Idea behind this thought, which I could not reciprocate in the same manner, is Gargi’s sons are very young and overlooking at their ability in academics, sports, or extra curricular activities, their marriage is linked directly to their schooling years ahead. Now, that’s funny!

What if they fall in love and opt for love marriage! 🙂

Give kids some time to settle and let them breathe. Let them germinate at their own pace. And please keep gender differences away from basic right of education.


I think that the best thing we can do for our children is to allow them to do things for themselves, allow them to be strong, allow them to experience life on their own terms, allow them to take the subway…let them be better people, let them believe more in themselves.

Too much of water and fertilizer before time spoil the beauty of plants. Isn’t it?

But I shall tell you that Gargi is still bewildered about her kid’s schools. J

“We must teach our children to dream with their eyes open.”
Harry Edwards